What should you not do during a divorce?

Last updated on September 30th, 2022 at 09:04 am

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Divorce is an extremely stressful and heartbreaking time. During this emotional and vulnerable time, it is essential to not get carried off by feelings and observe certain behaviors to get a favorable result.

Divorces can be a very long process, with both parties experiencing a complex mix of strong feelings from time to time. While this can lead one to act in an extreme way, they must remember that it must not be done.

Most importantly, it is essential to keep your space, and only do things or act as per a lawyer’s advice. Whether you want to scream at your soon-to-be ex partner, or go ahead with starting a new relationship, monitoring behaviors is crucial.

Do’s And Don’ts During Divorce Process

No matter how much you possibly want to act out of revenge or find any way to cause pain to your previously significant other, there are various do’s and don’ts you must follow.

The first thing to remember is to hold back every instinct, and every urge to act out, and maintain a sensible demeanor.

Keeping your eyes on the ultimate goal of successfully completing formalities is important. With this comes the question of what kind of settlement are you looking for, and what you want from your partner and what are you willing to let go.

Before we take a deep dive into what you must and what you must not do when going through a divorce. Here is a list of some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind:

  • Try to maintain honesty and transparency.
  • Keep in mind the best interests of the kids and do not take out any anger on them
  • Do not try to hide money
  • Learn to let go off some issues or fights
  • Do not use children as bargaining chips
  • Do not act out of spite or seek revenge
  • Consider a suitable enough settlement, and do not expect to get everything
  • Do not compare your situation with another divorce.
  • Consult a Therapist.
  • Don’t sleep with your soon-to-be-ex
  • Don’t begin dating your lawyer
  • Control your anger or attend anger management sessions

There are often additional things to remember but these basic and very important do’s and don’ts must be followed religiously.

What Can Be Used Against You In a Divorce

Pretty much anything and everything you do can be used against you in a divorce, especially if your to-be ex wants to make things messy. Any words, or any actions taken by one person can be used by another for their advantage.

Lawyers are often experts at twisting things and making a person appear awful even if that is not the case. Thus, it is important for every person to carefully think their words and actions through so that they cannot be used against them to favor the other party.

Do not challenge your ex to-be, do not threaten them, and do not in the heat of the moment make any claims that could jeopardize the case for you.

Try to keep things as mellow and calm as possible even if the other party aggravates you, it is often a tactic to ensure you lose.

Do not keep any assets hidden, as it can be seen as an attempt to fool the other party and can thus be seen negatively by the other party. Having a prenuptial agreement is actually often a boon in such situations, despite their apparent nature of betting against one’s marriage.

Disadvantages Of Filing For Divorce First

There are various disadvantages to being the first person to file a divorce. For starters, your spouse gets alerted by your demands and can prepare a very strong case against them with the lawyers.

Secondly, individuals who file for divorce first may end up paying more fees to the lawyers than the other party. This is because the lawyers have to draw up the first draft of divorce notice and demands, etc.

The person who files for the divorce first has to work harder on proving why the divorce is essential, which can be a tedious process.

Sneaky Divorce Tactics

There are a bunch of sneaky divorce tactics that you can use, and must at all times be on the lookout for. Firstly, your family members (both your own family and in-laws) can form sides and use your words or actions against you.

As sad as that is, it is very common and people who reveal entirely too much before everyone risk getting blindsided. While maintaining a certain confidence in the people closest to you is essential, maintaining discretion is also equally vital.

Transferring money into hidden accounts is another very common sneaky tactic. Any joint accounts that you and your spouse have can be cleaned out in a jiffy without your knowledge.

This can be done by one spouse to try and save as much money as possible to ensure the fulfillment of their financial interests.

Keep a close eye on any random transactions and ask for an explanation even if there have been no divorce filings yet.

Hiding any assets from the court, which are found later to be existing will not be taken positively by the court. It is hence essential to be transparent about your assets and try to fight fair.

How To Deal With In-Laws During Divorce

In-laws can act one of two ways when a couple is going through a divorce. They can either be understanding of a difficult situation and try to keep out of it as far as possible, or make the process even more difficult.

In most cases, the second situation stands true, and in these cases, it becomes essential to maintain your distance from the in-laws. Such in-laws can also use dirty tactics to make the divorce settlement process extra unpleasant.

If you are lucky enough to have supportive in-laws, in such cases as well, you must maintain a healthy distance and keep them outside your personal affairs. Using them to convey your ideas is a very sneaky trick and can tick off your spouse.

However, in this case, you can try to clear the air with your in-laws so that there are no ill feelings. This is especially important if your spouse and kids will be living with them and you need to maintain a healthy relationship with all members.

How Should You Act During a Divorce?

The first and foremost thing to remember is to hire a good lawyer who will provide the best advice to you. A lawyer is one of the most crucial players when it comes to determining the outcome of a case.

Secondly, it is important to ensure that all communication regarding the divorce settlement must be conveyed through the lawyer itself.

It is important to keep in mind that every issue must be first discussed with the lawyer and their advice must be sought.

Keeping a distance from your spouse is essential, and at the same time, keeping a distance from in-laws is essential. Understand that you may need to compromise on certain things and not all that you wish to acquire would be attained in the settlement.

Have your priorities in line. This means knowing which things are absolutely important for you to receive in the divorce settlement and what all you are willing to give up for that.

For example, a lot of people want sole custody of their children and do not mind if they have to let go of some other things which may also be equally important. Learning where to compromise is crucial.

Let’s Look At Some FAQs Related To What Should You Not do During a Divorce:

What Can You Not Do During a Divorce?

Among the many don’ts during a divorce, not sleeping with your to-be-ex or your lawyer is among the top things to ensure.

Apart from that, it is important to understand that the other person will also fight tooth and nail, hence the key is to compromise on certain issues, pick your battles.

How Do I Protect Myself Before Divorce?

Protecting oneself before divorce comes in various ways, as one can wish for emotional, physical or mental protection from oneself or their partner.

Seek a therapist and consult them for the best ways to protect one’s interests, how to process and work through your feelings and move on with your life.

What Should I Keep In Mind During Divorce?

Keep in mind that your spouse will not give you everything you ask for because of this it is important to know the things that hold extra importance for you.

Additionally, keeping a sensible and silent demeanor is crucial because any actions or words spoken out of line can be adverse to your case.

Can You Cheat During a Divorce?

Cheating during a divorce is a big no no. You are still not divorced, which means any sexual relationships outside of matrimony count as cheating.

This can easily have adverse effects on the divorce as a case of infidelity can be filed against you, which will make it more difficult to reach a favorable settlement.

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