How bad does divorce hurt the child?

Last updated on September 25th, 2022 at 03:34 pm

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For any child, The news of their parents getting divorced can hurt the child badly. Children start to less enjoy the activities they previously enjoy a lot. Children can show Unwillingness to talk with their friends and parents.

A child might not get good sleep because of anxiety which consequently affects the children’s academic performance.


Let’s see some questions comes to people’s mind when they think of divorce.

Worst Age For Divorce For Children?

Divorce of parents is not easy for any age of children whether you are 30 or 3 but still, there are thousands of examples of couples getting divorced each year.

The primary concern parent has when they are thinking of getting a divorce is the question of that is there any age when their divorce will hurt the children most.

Or should they try to make it work for the welfare of their children until they’re mature enough to understand what is divorce? Although divorce of parents affects children of every age. It affects children between the age of 6-12 the most. Why?

  • Because this is the age when the children are old enough to recollect the good memories or the happy moments with their parents.
  • Also, they’re mature enough to acknowledge the complex feelings.

Their world revolves around themselves. They search for their role in everything and make everything personal.

They might develop feelings like their parents are getting separated because of themselves. This feeling can make your child feel depressed and anxious to some extent.

So what you as a parent can do to minimize the effect of your divorce on your child?

  • Try to not fight or argue in front of your 6-12 years children.
  • If possible take the help of some mediator or take a divorce in secret.
  • Both parents should try to let things go as it is in front of the children.

Waiting To Divorce Until The Child Is 18?


Does divorce of parents affect children? The answer is yes. Divorce of parents affects children and not only children it affects the whole family.

However, I would like to point out that this is not the right question to ask for. Instead, you should ask the real question.

Are children affected by knowing that their parents are in a bad marriage? The answer is yes. When children see that their parents argue every time. Children see that their parent abuses each other.

They might think that it would be better if their parent get divorced rather than continue living in a bad marriage.

If you think that you can hide your fighting from your children then you are wrong. Children can feel the tensions between their parents.

Children need peace for their development and if your divorce can bring peace to them then it is not a bad idea. Now your children will have two beautiful and happy homes instead of a horrible and unhappy home.

Do you want your children to remain in a bad marriage when they become an adult? Do you want your child to feel the same as you are feeling right now in a bad relationship?

If not, then you should be an example for them. Make them realize that your happiness is something that matters. No matter what the situation is.

How To Divorce Without Hurting Your Child?

Parents often think that what would be the effect of their divorce on their children and how to minimize the consequences of divorce.

But to a child of any age knowing the fact that their parents will no longer remain married to each other can be disturbing and shocking.

Let’s see what you can do to make your divorce as smooth as possible.

  • The foremost thing you can do is to have an honest and early conversation with your child as to what happened between you and your spouse. Why are you taking a divorce or separating and what is going to happen in the future.
  • You don’t need to tell everything to your child but remember to be careful with your words.
  • Now as your children know about you both getting divorced. You should try to spend some extra time with your children.
  • Provide your children what they want otherwise the news that their parent is getting a divorce can make them stressed or anxious.
  • Another essential thing that you need to do is to avoid arguments as much as possible in front of your child. This particular thing can make your child’s life worse.
  • Though it is difficult to avoid arguments during divorce but still try to do it in private.

The above-given advice can make your divorce as smooth as possible and will hurt less your child.

Negative Effects Of Divorce On Children?

These are some negative effects divorces can have on children.

  • Any children will be shocked after hearing the news of their parents getting a divorce. Consequently, he or she might get angry at the fact that they can’t do anything about it.
  • Some children start to blame themselves for their parent’s divorce and consequently become socially withdrawn.
  • Children’s academic performance might get affected. This may be due to various reasons like he/she is neglected, feeling depressed, and might not be able to sleep properly.
  • Children sleeping patterns may change which may contribute to weight loss or weight gain.
  • Study shows that children of divorced parents are less likely to get into a committed relationship like marriage instead they prefer cohabitation.


Psychological Effects Of Divorce On Children?

Depending on the circumstances and the age of the child the psychological effects can be different. The most common ones are:

  • Children of divorced parents show signs of depression, anxiety, or other mental disorders like eating disorders and phobias.
  • Children of divorced parents are more likely to behave aggressively.
  • Children of divorced parents have more chances to indulge in the use of drugs. Sometimes this habit turns into an addiction and devastates the children’s life.
  • Children of divorced parents are also more likely to engage in sexual activities at an earlier stage of their life.

Can Divorce Be Good For a Child?

Divorce can sometimes be good for the child. It depends on the situation like if you are in a home where there are resentments.

Never-ending arguments between you and your spouse and sometimes these arguments reaching to the heights of abusing each other.

Then instead of doing all this fighting in front of your child, it would be better if the parent takes a divorce. It would be much more beneficial to the children than watching all the drama day and night.

Is Divorce Better For Kids Than Fighting?

Divorce is better or not than fighting depending on how frequently you fight.

  • See fighting(not talking about domestic abuse) or arguments are normal between the couple. If you guys are fighting day and night then divorce can be an option for you.
  • No child wants to see their parent fighting. Similarly, they also don’t want you to get divorced.
  • Now you have to see to what extent you guys are fighting. You have to analyze if there is still a chance you both can remain together.
  • If you find that there is resentment. Never-ending arguments, domestic violence then divorce are far better than to continue living in a hell-like relationship.
  • This will bring peace to your child’s mind otherwise seeing their parent fighting day and night can lead your child to depression or anxiety.

FAQ Related to How Bad Does Divorce Hurts The Child


At What Age Does Divorce Affect a Child?

Divorce affects a child of every age. You should ask at what age does divorce affect a child the most?

  • Study shows that children between the age of 6-12 are affected by divorce the most. Because that’s the age when a child can understand what is happening.
  • Children between the age of 6-12 are mature enough to know the feeling of their parents and their complex relationships.
  • It is also the age when children can recollect all the good memories spent with their parents.

Will Divorce Ruin My Child?

Divorce does not always ruin the child. Yes, there are instances when divorces ruined the child’s life. There are other instances also when divorce became a necessity to save a child from suffering mental trauma, depression, and anxiety.

Now it depends on you whether you want to take a divorce or not. If you can survive the hell-like relationship then go ahead. But you should seriously think about divorce if you can not.

Is It Better To Stay Together For a Child?

This is not an easy question to answer. There is a lot of evidence available which suggests that staying together can be more helpful for a child than taking a divorce.

Also, there are opposite examples available that suggest taking a divorce is a better option if your relationship is strained or involves domestic violence.


In conclusion, being parents try as hard as you can to work out your marriage for the sake of your children.





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