Last updated on January 20th, 2023 at 06:17 pm
Being married to a narcissist can be emotionally draining. So, getting a divorce might feel like a godsend. You won’t have to deal with the constant gaslighting, controlling behaviors, and insulting comments.
More often than not, narcissists come back, mostly to feel better about themselves. Read on to learn more about the behavior of a narcissist after a divorce.
Will a narcissist try to come back after divorce?
So, will a narcissist try to reconcile things after a divorce? The answer is “it depends”. There are a lot of things that affect the narcissist after a divorce such as their mental health, self-esteem, willingness to communicate, and the circumstances of the divorce.
You might think that the inflated sense of pride of a narcissist would prevent them from coming back after a divorce. However, the truth is that if it benefits them, they wouldn’t have any qualms about getting back to you after a divorce.
In fact, they will try to make it look like they are doing you a favor by taking them back. They might even act like nothing happened, giving them a sense of power and weakening you emotionally and mentally.
Will a narcissist leave a relationship for good?
When a narcissist wants the relationship to be over, they will end it easily. They are experts at manipulating people and will make it obvious that the marriage is done.
Even if you are the one who decided to end the marriage, they would say things like you were not able to handle the relationship, making the whole thing to be your fault. They will fill you with doubts and make you believe that losing them is a big loss for you.
Yes, in some cases, they do leave the relationship for good. But, this only happens when they are the ones driving the separation. In the end, they will force you out and make you feel undesirable.
The road to getting over a narcissist spouse is long and hard, which can leave you emotionally tattered. However, it is still doable.
Narcissist stalking after discard – what’s the evidence?
One of the common things that narcissists do after a divorce is stalking. This is because they still want to control the lives of their victims.
The saddest part is that this behavior can continue on for years. A Reddit user made a post describing how the behavior of her ex changed after separating from her.
When he was in contact with her, he was totally fine, but when she cut him off, he became vengeful and unstable. For almost 18 years, he kept texting, calling, and showing up at her office consistently.
It is important to note that not every narcissist turns out to be a stalker. However, the probability of them becoming one is high.
They are not able to handle rejection well and consider it a personal attack. By interfering with your personal life, they have a sense of control.
Even if they have moved on, losing control over you bothers them. In some cases, they might even become delusional and think that they are still present in your life.
2 weeks no contact with narcissist – have they gone for good?
The answer to this question depends on you. To make sure that they are gone for good, you have to make sure that you let them back.
No contact isn’t something that you can do for a few weeks or months. You have to let go of them forever. If they have a means of contacting you, they will bug you for years to come.
You have to heal yourself so that you are strong enough to resist the temptation of getting back with them.
It is important to remember that even if a narcissist comes back, their only intention might be to be the one to break up with you.
They might even seek revenge because the one thing that a narcissist hates the most is getting ignored. It is important for them to be the ones to initiate the divorce.
What happens when a narcissist is exposed to the point of no return?
Exposing your partner as a narcissist can be cruel and uncomfortable, especially if you have been married for a long time. However, you might have encountered a situation where doing this is necessary.
Before you expose a narcissist, you must prepare for the backlash. They won’t react favorably to the perceived rejection.
Narcissists consider themselves to be better than everyone else and believe that you are lucky to be with them. Exposure will feel unexpected and malicious to them.
They might insist that you are lying. Their truth is often distorted from reality to a point that they start believing their own lies. You also have to prepare yourself for the scenario where they play the victim.
They won’t take ownership of their actions and try to shift the blame on you. Whatever the case be, you should hold your ground.
When a covert narcissist dumps you – how should you react?
If you have been married to a covert narcissist, your self-esteem and confidence must have been sucked away. With constant gaslighting and manipulation, you might be full of self-doubt.
It is important to note that the way you react after a covert narcissist ends the relationship with you will determine your wellbeing. Here is how.
If the narcissist feels that you are not devastated because of the divorce, their ego will be hurt. They will then start hovering, an aggressive technique often used by a covert narcissist.
They return after a long absence, which can be difficult for your physical and mental health. So, when they dump you, you have to set your personal boundaries.
Let them think that the divorce is really hard for you, which will be true if they are a covert narcissist. Negotiate tactfully to set the terms of the divorce.
Once everything is done, maintain distance with them and cut all emotional links.
What happens to narcissists in the end?
Narcissists often have the tendency to become hostile, passive-aggressive, and combative at the end of the relationship. They don’t understand the value and needs of other people and are more focused on their egos. Here are a few things they might do in the end:
- Blame everything on you
- Fight the divorce
- Try to make you jealous
- Guilt you into staying
- Make empty promises
- Stalk you
- Seek revenge
When the relationship ends, they are still looking for that control. Losing that control results in them losing their sense of power. It hurts their ego and they might either try to get you back or get revenge on you.
5 Signs a narcissist is using you
Everyone can be a narcissist every once in a while. There are certain narcissistic tendencies that we all show when we are unaware of ourselves or are frustrated.
But, if your partner is consistent with these tendencies, it is a sign that they are using you. Here are the signs that might mean that your narcissistic partner is using you.
- They listen but they don’t hear you. All they are doing in their head is rehearsing their comeback.
- They don’t have empathy. This makes it almost impossible for them to understand your feelings and perspectives and apologize for their actions.
- Narcissist people are often charismatic. They dominate their partner. However, once they know that you trust them, they become a different person. And, when you bring this up, they will turn on you.
- Narcissists are almost incapable of handling criticism. They believe they are perfect and they want the world to see the same. So, when you point out an issue, they consider it a personal attack.
- They gaslight you. They will falsely accuse you or others, tell blatant lies, and even distort your reality, especially if they feel like you are abandoning them or challenging their authority.
How is life after getting divorced from a narcissist?
Just because you have divorced your narcissist partner, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have to deal with them. They might still try making your life difficult.
In fact, if you have a spousal maintenance order, child support, or child custody, they might bring you back to court. What you need is a lawyer to help prepare your case and show to the judge what’s wrong and what’s right.
Will a narcissist come back after divorce?
A lot of narcissists try to come back after a divorce. Some of them are successful while others are not. In order to ensure that they don’t still try to control your life, you have to maintain no contact.
Even if you share the custody of a child, you can ask a trusted mutual friend to handle the contact.
The divorce might settle the legalities of your marriage, but it won’t make your narcissistic partner understand that “it’s over”. Many narcissists treat their partners as a possession.
They might expect you to welcome them back with open arms, without any apology, resolution, or discussion.
If they try to contact you after divorce, you should reestablish the no contact rule. This is your opportunity to rebuild your life and make your own decisions.
Remember that you don’t owe them anything, not even a conversation.
Will a narcissist come back years later?
Until the narcissist’s interest in you is dead, you are not safe from their manipulation, regardless of how much time has passed. They are like the psychopaths from horror movies who have a nasty habit of reentering the lives of their victims.
Hoovering is a technique commonly used by narcissists where they suck their victims back. When they feel that they are not getting enough attention from their current partner or they aren’t able to manipulate them as well, they might try to hoover you to make themselves feel better.
This can happen years after no contact. So, regardless of what the issue is, you should not bring them back into your life.
Do narcissists ever return to former partners?
The answer to this depends on what type of narcissist they are. If they are a recycler, they are most likely to return as they stick with what they know and what they can control.
They enjoy a relationship’s predictability. With a recycler, you know that the moment things go south with you, they go right back to a former partner. When they do that, it is mostly to reassert their control.
What do narcissists do when you divorce them?
When you divorce a narcissist, you can expect a fight every step of the way. A narcissist believes that they are perfect and don’t make any mistakes.
They will try to blame you for the divorce and do everything in their power to protect their ego. So, you should expect that they might try to use your family, friends, and children against you.
They might even try to act mature to make you let your guard down. As soon as you do it, they will strike you.
If you have children, they must be your priority. A narcissist wants to win.
They will use children for their own selfish gains. So, hire a divorce lawyer who can help the judge see the truth behind the situation and assign custody the right way.