Last updated on January 13th, 2023 at 10:57 am
Referring to the mother-in-law as “monster-in-law” is a classic joke between women. However, in some cases the joke stops being funny when the said “monster” starts ruining your marriage.
If this applies to you, it is important to learn the correct ways to mitigate the situation before you decide to take the extreme measure of walking out of the marriage.
This article will show you how to cope with toxic in-laws in the hope of saving your marriage.
Key Takeaways about Mother-in-Laws Causing Divorce
|The joke of a “monster-in-law” can stop being funny when the mother-in-law starts to negatively impact the marriage.
|If you are considering divorce because of your in-laws, make sure you have tried everything to solve the issue first.
|If your in-laws are trying to intentionally separate you from your husband, do not tolerate it.
|Try to prove your loyalty and kindness to your husband through actions and set firm boundaries with your in-laws.
|Confide in a trustworthy friend, talk to your husband about the problem, and consider marriage counseling if necessary.
|It is possible that your in-laws are envious or skeptical and need reassurance, but if they are mean to you despite that, you may end up resenting your husband.
|Mothers who smother their children can lead to a toxic co-dependency and a “Mama’s boy” mentality in the child.
|If your mother-in-law is possessive and interfering in your marriage, it may start with constant nagging and pointing out faults in how you run your household.
|Before filing for divorce, make sure you have tried everything to control the situation and look for signs that your husband is obeying his mother’s every command.
Considering Divorce Because Of In-Laws
If you are thinking of leaving your spouse because of your in-laws, make sure that you have tried everything to solve the issue first.
Your relationship with your husband might be great. This is an important point to note while considering divorce.
Here are some more tips on dealing with the situation –
- If your in-laws are trying to intentionally separate you from your husband, do not tolerate it.
- Some in-laws are toxic people and extremely possessive of their son. The thought of him caring for you is unsettling for them.
- They might try to paint you as the villain in his eyes out of jealousy. While you should confront your in-laws about the issue, do not ignore your husband.
- Try to prove your loyalty and kindness to him through actions. If you are innocent and fair, you have nothing to fear. Simply make sure that your husband understands you well.
- Implement firm boundaries and insist that your in-laws abide by them. Their relationship with their son is different from your relationship with your husband.
- Confide in a trustworthy friend. But first, talk to your husband about the problem. If the problem persists go ahead and seek marriage counselling.
- You may even set an example for your husband by prioritizing him and your children over your parents. Let him know the standard has been raised, and he should match up with you.
- Lastly, it is alright if you never get along with your in-laws. You can still be happily married to your husband if the boundaries are respected.
I Resent My Husband Because Of His Family
In most cases, the reason why your husband’s parents do not like you is because they are envious.
They probably share a special bond with their son and think of you as an intruder.
However, it is also possible that your in-laws by nature are very skeptical and need constant reassurance. In that case, be honest with them and have a proper discussion.
If your in-laws are plain mean to you despite that, you will end up resenting your husband as well.
Ideally, your husband should be on your side. But if that is far from reality then he is most probably a “Mama’s boy”.
How Mother-In-Laws Ruin Marriages
Some mothers smother their children from infancy. They do a lot for them ensuring their comfort and wellbeing.
From the mother’s perspective, she is trying to do her best for the child. But in reality, this leads to a toxic co-dependency between both the child and the parent.
If that is true in your husband’s case then he is probably a Mama’s boy.
This means your mother-in-law will always dote on you and think you are not taking good care of her son. She will interfere in your married life very often.
It might start with constant nagging. Your mother-in-law will point out faults in the way you run your household and treat her son. She may never understand that her son is now also your husband.
If you confront your mother-in-law about her possessive behavior, she might try to turn your husband against you.
I Want To Divorce My Husband Because Of His Mother
Before you actually file for divorce, make sure you have tried everything to control the situation.
Perhaps you are not sure if your mother-in-law is smothering your husband. If that is the case, look for these signs –
- Your husband obeys his mother’s every command. He will prioritize her needs over yours.
- He needs to interact with his mother on a daily basis, either on the phone or in person.
- Given a choice, he always picks his mother over you and your children.
- He insists on finding a house or apartment near his mother.
- Making important decisions are difficult for your husband without speaking to his mother first.
- There is a toxic financial co-dependency between your husband and his mother.
- Your husband expects you to look after him in the same way his mother used to.
If the above points apply to you, your husband is most definitely a Mama’s boy.
The question then arises: How do you get your man back? Here are some suggestions –
- Have a deep conversation about the issue with your husband. Do not demonize his mother (unless she is truly terrible).
- Let him know that your relationship is different from his relationship with his mother.
- Tell him that he needs to set some boundaries. He must not prioritize one relationship over the other. Instead, your husband should pay attention to both his families.
- Remember, whenever you speak to your husband or your mother-in-law do not start ranting.
- Be mature and speak in a level-headed manner. If you sound too aggressive the other party will become defensive and argue back.
I Hate My In-Laws So Much I Want a Divorce
Perhaps your husband is not a mama’s boy. He cares about you and fulfills his responsibilities as a husband and a father.
Your in-laws on the other hand are causing you trouble. But it could also be a case of miscommunication or misinterpretation.
Here are the most common reasons for tension between spouses and their in-laws, along with their solutions –
- You have nothing in common with your in-laws. With friends, you can tag along on common grounds (interests, likes and nature). In essence, you can choose your friends.
- But you cannot choose your in-laws. And if you are really unfortunate, your in-laws may have nothing in common with you.
- This is where you must decide if accommodating to your in-laws preferences is worth saving your marriage. If yes, do it. In time, you might even enjoy some activities with them.
- It is possible that your in-laws have a dark sense of humor. Or maybe, they have a rough manner of speaking.
- If that is the case, do not take offense to what they say and resent them. Instead, talk to them and clarify things. Maybe they will try to be more polite with you.
- Perhaps your in-laws give you the cold shoulder. Just like you are not obligated to like them, they are not obliged to like you. You have other friends to hang out with.
- Accept this bitter truth and move on. You do not have to be rude to them in return. As long as your husband loves and supports you, accept your in-laws as they are.
- Some people are passionate, especially when it comes to arguments. Your in-laws may be one of them.
- If you enter a heated discussion with them do not think of it as a sign of hatred. Observe your in-laws when they interact with others. They are probably as argumentative with everyone.
- Lastly, you must understand that in life sometimes even blood relatives do not get along.
The important thing to take away from this is not to hold any resentments or grudges against your in-laws.
FAQ Related To Do Mother In Laws Cause Divorce:
Can a Mother-In-Law Destroy a Good Marriage?
If your mother-in-law is possessive of her son then yes she is capable of ruining your marriage.
Her possessiveness will translate to constant interference in your household. You can expect a lot of complaints from her end.
In the worst case scenario, your mother-in-law can turn into the infamous “monster” and turn your husband against you.
Can In Laws Lead To Divorce?
This depends on the nature of your in-laws and the nature of their relationship with their son.
Often, your in-law’s rudeness is misinterpreted. After all, they do not know you well enough to like you. And they are concerned about their son’s happiness.
You should therefore clear up all doubts before you think of your in-laws as the villain.
n case they are truly bad people, you should talk to your husband about dealing with the issue.
Why Do Mother In Laws Cause Problems?
The relationship between a mother and a son runs deep. In extreme cases it can end up in obsession.
Such mothers never stop treating their son as a child. The son on the other hand cannot take important decisions without his mother’s approval.
If you end up with a mother-in-law like this, there will definitely be some problems in your marriage.
How Often Do In Laws Cause Divorce?
A research was conducted on 373 couples who got married in the year 1986. The results were, to say the least, surprising.
Women who reported enjoying a good relationship with in-laws had a 20 per cent higher chance of divorce.
This might serve as a silver lining to those women who find it difficult to get along with their in-laws.