Can You Have an Amicable Divorce?

Amicable divorce stories

While saying their “I dos,” nobody ever imagines that their marriage will come to an end in the future. But marriages are not as simple as they seem in those rom-com movies.

Life is unpredictable and so are relationships. Having issues in a marriage is more common than people believe them to be. When a marriage is broken beyond repair and staying in it becomes too difficult, ending it before it turns toxic is a wise choice.

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Divorces have become very common all around the world and while there is nothing wrong with it, a problem arises when partners refuse to cooperate. Unless you are parting ways because of awful reasons like domestic violence or infidelity, you must try to keep things amicable.

An amicable divorce is a divorce where both parties agree to cooperate for reaching a favourable outcome. An amicable divorce is based on open lines of communication, mutual respect, and willingness to find the best solution for themselves and their families.

There are several amicable divorce stories of celebrities and common individuals that make us believe that uncoupling harmoniously is still possible. Popular celebrities like Demi Moore & Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner, and Courteney Cox & David Arquette, have all separated amicably and still remain friends to date.

How to have an amicable divorce with a narcissist

If your spouse is a narcissist, then having an amicable divorce becomes several times more challenging. Narcissists are people with inflated egos. They don’t like to lose under any circumstances. They thrive on winning and don’t value the feelings and needs of others.

So, when you are trying to amicably divorce your narcissist partner, be ready for an uphill battle. However, with the right guidance and tips, getting an amicable divorce from your narcissistic ex is possible. Here are some tips for the same:

  • Narcissists have a habit of getting under their partner’s skin to improve their chance of winning. So, it is essential for you to not lose your cool and play into their hands.
  • Make sure to not send any angry texts or email to your partner. Try to stay focused on your goal of getting out of your marriage as peacefully and amicably as possible.
  • Have an open line of communication but set clear boundaries and be respectful to yourself.
  • Keep your communication drama-free. Never respond to your partner’s hostility with rage or disrespect. Remember, it is not a battle and so, creating drama will only worsen your situation.
  • Hire an exceptional divorce attorney and be honest about your situation with them. Keeping your attorney in the loop will help them develop a fool-proof strategy to ensure that things don’t go out of hand.
  • Get in touch with a trained communication specialist to help you better communicate with your narcissistic partner and work out a solution.

Amicable divorce with child

Getting a divorce is one of the most challenging and stressful times of a person’s life. However, it becomes even more difficult when children are involved in the process.

Going for an amicable divorce is the best choice when you and your spouse have a child (or children) together. Even though your marriage is coming to an end, you still have to play one of the most important roles – being parents.

Here are some tips for having an amicable divorce with a child:

  • Be honest with your child about your divorce. Tell them that the divorce will not reduce your love for them.
  • Encourage them to voice their questions and feelings.
  • If possible, sit down with your spouse and chalk out a plan to ensure that the divorce is not very hard on your child.
  • Let your child know even though you are parting ways, both you and your partner still respect each other. Tell your kid that both of you will continue taking care of them like before even after the divorce.

Even after parting ways, you will still have to work together with your partner for child custody and things related to raising your child. Co-parenting becomes several times easier when you have an amicable divorce.

Amicable divorce cost

When it comes to the financial aspect of a divorce, an amicable or uncontested divorce is always the best choice.

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Divorces that require litigation are incredibly expensive. You will have to shell out a large amount of money on high-powered attorneys and court proceedings.

On the other hand, when you and your spouse decide to work together and part ways by cooperating, you can save a lot of money. On top of the amicable divorce also opens the door for you to plan your post-divorce finances and split the cost of assets and childcare without fighting.

Filing for an amicable divorce will cost you anywhere around $200 to $350. The overall cost of your divorce will largely depend on the region you live in.

However, in most cases, the cost of an uncontested divorce doesn’t exceed $500. This is incredibly cheap when compared with litigation which can require you to shell out thousands of dollars.

Amicable separation vs divorce

Many people believe separation and divorce to be the same thing. However, this is not true! There are a few key differences between an amicable separation and an amicable divorce.

For example, Amicable separation means putting your marriage on hold. On the other hand, an amicable divorce ends your marriage legally. Here are some key differences between them:

  • In amicable separation, both the partners take a mutual decision of living separately. On the contrary, in an amicable divorce both the partners decide to go through courts to file for divorce to formally end their marriage.
  • While an amicable separation does not end a marriage, it relieves a couple of the obligation of living together. The couple needs to file a legal separation agreement in the court that will determine the terms of their separation including division of assets, arrangement for raising your children, and so on.
  • In this sense, an amicable divorce is pretty similar to an amicable separation. Even when a divorce isn’t contested in court, getting court approval is necessary. Divorce also involves the division of property, custody arrangement for raising your children, and so on.
  • A legal amicable separation still allows both the partners to jointly file taxes or get health insurance coverage from your spouse’s job. On the other hand, an amicable divorce ends all the financial and legal ties with your spouse.
  • Finally, if you want to remarry someone else, getting a divorce becomes necessary. Amicable separation doesn’t allow you to marry another person as, technically, you are still married to your previous spouse.

Amicable divorce checklist

If you and your partner have decided to get an amicable divorce, there are certain dos and don’ts you must remember.

Here is a quick amicable divorce checklist that will make the process simpler and a bit less stressful for you.

  • Be honest and open with your spouse throughout the divorce proceedings.
  • Don’t try to pull any surprises on them like altering the terms of your agreement without notice.
  • Cooperate with each other and work out a final agreement that is fair to both of you.
  • If you have children together, put their needs above everything else.
  • Don’t involve your children in the process or try to use them to boost your case.
  • Show mutual respect to each other throughout the process. Remember, even though your marriage is ending, there’s no reason to make things toxic or hateful.

FAQ related to can you have an amicable divorce:

1. Is an amicable divorce possible?

Yes, an amicable divorce is very much possible. In fact, it is the best way to end a marriage. In an amicable divorce, both the partners cooperate and work together to find a middle ground. It is also easier on your children and other family members. If done right, an amicable divorce is less stressful and quite empowering.

2. How do you divorce someone amicably?

To divorce someone amicably, you must remember the following things:

  • Do not try to play the blame game. Decide on divorce mutually and with maturity.
  • Try to make the proceedings as easier and less complicated as possible. Focus on the big picture and the future ahead of you.
  • Keep good faith while finalizing your divorce agreement
  • If you have children, prioritize their needs. Work with your partner as a team when it comes to co-parenting.
  • As much as possible, try to settle your divorce respectfully and out of court. Litigation can be incredibly expensive and stressful and is avoidable in most cases.

3. Can divorce be peaceful?

Yes, divorces can be peaceful. Uncontested and amicable divorces are built on the foundation of peace, respect and cooperation.

4. How do I get an amicable divorce in the UK?

  • To get an amicable divorce in the UK, you can share a lawyer and file your divorce petition together.
  • Work on an amicable and fair financial agreement and division of assets and get them approved by a Family Judge.
  • If you have children, you can devise a co-parenting plan or agreement without getting the court or lawyer involved. The law gives you the right, as parents, to decide what is best for your kids. In case you still need assistance, you can still seek joint advice from a family lawyer or co-parenting expert.

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