You have experienced this, or you know others who have. Long hours at work leave the other partner feeling unsupported or distant. The other partner spends most of her time looking after the children, sometimes with a job to balance also, and the first partner feels like his needs are not being addressed either.

Can a relationship like this be rescued? Is it worth doing so?

We will assume here that each person does still want the relationship to succeed. When one partner no longer wants a relationship, this is very difficult for the one who still does.

It is frightening how many relationships are maintained just for the children, or for appearances, or for fear of being alone. We all deserve satisfying, complete, and gratifying relationships, and I do not subscribe to the charade theory which keeps many relationships together. Even if you are only still in the relationship for the kids, it is possible that spending some time working on the relationship can achieve an improvement.

The first requirement is for a deeply sincere commitment to hard work to improve things. Not following through on a commitment given is a terrible thing to do. In cases where there is a true desire and commitment, then there is hope of an improvement.

Next, both of you must deeply explore the relationship, and identify the problem or problems that exist. And there must be mutual agreement on these. How can anybody be motivated to work on a problem they don’t acknowledge.

The real challenge is discovering what the real problems are. Many fall into the trap of identifying symptoms – and not the real issues. If a partner has been unfaithful you need to examine whether that is the real problem. Peeling away the layers may show that the relationship suffers from an intimacy deficiency. It is possible that the infidelity is a symptom of a root issue and that a lack of intimacy is what is most important to address.

When the problems have been identified, they must be discussed and agreed upon if possible. The only was to proceed is in a constructive manner. You will be pointing out matters which will be difficult for the other person to hear. Same goes for your partner, they will be telling you things which you find hurtful. It is really, really important that there is a complete discussion. If both partners are open, then the issues get aired as they should. Mind control games, and keeping score, is not the strategy to employ now. This time is better spent cooperating and seeing resolution in an understanding manner.

When all the problems have been identified, then it is time to develop an action plan to address them. This is an on-going process, and there should be frequent progress checks. It is very important that both partners have tasks to perform on the relationship, and that each pulls his or her weight, and is perceived by the other partner as doing so.

Use these suggestions, and there is every likelihood that you will see an improvement in your relationship.

The author operates My-Relationship-Fix.com where you can get more Get Ex Back advice.

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