Betrayal can cause a complete whirlwind of activity in a person’s being. Anger and resentment can quickly become the cornerstones of life, leading to bitterness and a deep-seated hatred, not only for the offending partner/spouse, but for life in general. To survive infidelity takes a level of being that we are not used to using. We are faced with the challenge of examining our lives and ourselves.

All of this can be extraordinarily painful. But, as we re-emerge from the pain of a cheating spouse, it is possible to have a new appreciation for our lives and be a better person for it. That includes the cheating spouse and our committed union. We can learn how to trust again. All things are possible.

The road to recovery is a long process. Don’t look for this to happen over night. When faced with the act of cheating, usually the initial decision we make is, “That is it. No more.” Pride is wounded. A tremendous hurt is inflicted. A trust has been crushed.

But, given a little time couples are then faced with making the decision that will completely alter their lives.Not a decision we want to make carelessly. We come face to face with just how much our partner/spouse and that union means to us. Just how much pain are we willing to endure to keep it alive? The answers to these questions can add a dimension to our lives and being be did not know was possible beforehand. The crucial component is to give all this enough space and time.

We are a like a miner in a dark shaft trying to discover a way out and if there’s any hidden treasure along the way. Danger lurks at every turn. We do not know if there is way out. There is a demand for our complete attention. Which is a thing we are’nt used to giving to anything, ever. Our being will never be the same. Our lives can never be the same again. One way or the other, something new is being born. And, birth is always painful.

If you find yourself in this dark remote place of surviving infidelity, I would recommend something drastic. Quit searching online. Gather all the books you have on the subject and put them away. Stop listening to family and friends. When everything has been locked away, turn inward, both to yourself and your spouse/partner and ask the painful questions.

There is really no one now that can save you or your old relationship. Do not rely on the experience of someone else to answer the call of your life. When everything has been put on the shelf, and you begin to ask the right questions, you then have a chance to contact a level of being which is fully capable of giving you the answers you seek. Quite possibly, they may not be the answers for which you hoped. They may not be the answers that are comfortable.

A betrayal has taken place. There is something dramatically wrong that demands our total attention. Perhaps it could be that in this challenge we will discover what is beneath the heart of love and behind the mask of self. It is the journey of a thousand miles, walked on a razor’s edge. Only a few see it all the way through. Only a few arrive. The heartache and the betrayal give us a ticket to ride.

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