The partners in many marriages today appear to be walking a tightrope in an effort to keep their marriages from falling apart. Countless numbers of those couples in this position are desperate to ensure that their marriage functions in a normal manner. One of the main reasons cited for problems in marriage is lack of trust. This may involve a mutual mistrust or a lack of trust of only one with the other.

The resulting consequence of lack of trust in a relationship is a high level of mutual stress.

Broken trust can result from quite simple things from not fulfilling obligations and promises to serious matters such as infidelity significant addictions, violence and dishonesty. Once trust has been broken it is not always a simple matter to re-establish it. You have to earn trust and the only way to do this is to reveal to your partner, in practical ways, that you have changed your behavior–not just by word but by deed. In this way trust may be rebuilt but it could very well take a significant period of time.

Once you have been found guilty of betraying your spouse’s trust don’t attempt to cover up by making excuses. To attempt to defend your actions (or lack of them) often only makes the situation worse. It is much more sensible to be contrite and endeavor to re-establish your credibility.

The effects of broken trust can be serious and may even result in divorce. 

The affected partner may very well suffer from periods of depression if they are unable to gain any traction with a spouse who wont or doesn’t want to modify their behavior. In this event it is very much on the cards that the children will also be affected by the deterioration in their parents relationship. Professional advice needs to be sought at this point to prevent the possibility of divorce.

The occasional bout of lack of trust affects most marriages. For instance when a partner puts off a job or forgets to carry out an important task. These may not be serious in nature but over a period of time may create a picture of untrustworthiness. The following points may be useful to bear in mind:

  1. The first move to re-establishing trust is to accept responsibility for whatever it was that was the origin of the lack of trust in the relationship in the first place.
  2. The next step is to make a firm decision to transform the behavior that resulted in the broken trust.
  3. Finally, commit to making the change.

The vast majority of marriages are worth saving.  Issues of trust can normally be worked through if both parties are willing to recognize that the process may be a long one. This is especially so if there have been major lapses on the part of one of the spouses that led to the breaking of trust. However, if love is still alive regardless, then you should give serious thought to allowing your marriage every chance of success and happiness.

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