How many times have most of us heard the comment from someone who has been cheated on that they had no idea that their partner was involved in an extramarital affair? Often this is because they have failed to pick up on the inevitable small or subtle signs, of their partner’s infidelity. In a strong marital relationship, any attraction to a member of the opposite sex will be merely passive and any intimate advances from a member of the opposite sex will be rejected. Generally speaking the reason why people cheat on their partner is because of something lacking, or perceived to be lacking, in their marriage.

There are many signs of cheating, some obvious, some not so.

Here are the six most common reasons for a person indulging in an extramarital affair outside marriage:

1. Protest
Believe it or not there are some people who consider that they are quite entitled to have an affair. This is often the case with people who are constantly arguing with each other. They frequently seek peace and understanding in the arms of another as compensation; which curiously they see as their right.

2. Insecurity

Some of the more common reasons for this are:

  • Many men are not able to come to terms with their wife devoting so much of her time to the children and ignoring their spousal communication and contact.
  • This has a flow on effect to lack of a general lack of intimacy in a marriage which leaves a man dissatisfied and unsure about the strength of their relationship.
  • A man may be over involved at work or at play and neglect his wife and their marital relationship. It is quite common in this event for a woman to stray into a relationship with another man who will give her those things that are missing in the relationship with her husband.
  • Advancing age is a major reason for a person feeling insecure. Ageing brings with it a feeling of vulnerability and mortality.

3. Sex & Love
When one of the spouses has waning or no interest in a sexual relationship with their spouse but the spouse’s sexual feelings are still strong, an extramarital affair is often seen as the answer to sexual satisfaction.
 
A person may still require the same sort of love that they first had in their relationship so many years ago. This is of course not realistic because the total sexual and emotional “in love” feeling that both partners had for each other is a short lived thing – many people don’t recognize this and yearn for what was in the early period of their relationship. When that rush of sexually charged love goes, a person may think that something is amiss in their relationship and look for satisfaction elsewhere.

In many of these cases a straying partner will convince themselves that they have only indulged in an illicit relationship because of what is sometimes called the “fun” that is lacking in their marital relationship.

Love and romance is the lifeblood of a successful marriage. This article provides tips on what you need to do to remain romantic lovers.

4. The One Night Stand
We often hear about “the one night stand” – this is more often than not an affair that has little relevance to the person that has indulged in it. Often such an affair is conducted in a state of intoxication or out of sexual curiosity. The impact on your partner, if they find out about it, can be devastating nevertheless.

5. Growing Apart
Couples opinions and interests may go in completely different directions with the passage of time. These differences often lead to marital incompatibility to a point where a couple may not be able to satisfy the needs of each other.

6. Breakdown of a Relationship
When there are irreconcilable differences in a marital relationship it is not uncommon for partners to seek out [someone a person] who is more compatible to ensure that they have companionship when their marriage is dissolved.

Here are a couple of very common reasons why some individuals are “affair prone”, and remain having extramarital affairs throughout a committed relationship, even though they generally have no intention of breaking it up:

Excitement
Some people are simply hooked on the excitement of the initial feelings of love and intimacy that they experienced in their marriage even though they recognize that this is a situation that doesn’t last. They don’t want to leave their marriage partner so they get involved in a series of secret one night stands and other exciting experiences such as clandestine meetings with members of the opposite sex. These encounters may or may not involve sex.

Fear of Intimacy
For some people the intimacy of a committed relationship is too hard to handle. An affair, short or long term, becomes a means of creating distance and privacy. For those involved in a long term affair they have in effect established two part time relationships, one involving their spouse and the other with their partner outside marriage. In this scenario they have effectively eliminated the possibility of having full intimacy with either.

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