The results of smoking cigarettes was evident on her face.  I had seen her face thousands of times before I could identify her relationship to me.  The unwrinkled face of my mother continuously showed that she was very uneasy in the presence of the other lady.  I would know her later as my father's ex-wife. 

I developed a fondness for my step-sister, and I always looked at her mother with awkward awe.  Although my parents were distanced by eighteen years, it was never considered an outrageous relationship.  She appeared old and unsuitable, this lady, this ex-wife.

I had other step-siblings, ones I've never met and might never meet. They had taken my father's name.  We had the same surname which is not a feature that I shared with my mother's other offspring.    They all had kids.  My nieces and nephews were considerably older than me, as I had been born an Aunty.

From her first marriage and me, there were fourteen years in between my mother's youngest child.  She would become a surrogate caregiver as my mother grew mentally ill.  My mother and my sister walked around with a mask on, pretending that tax evasion had sent my mother's ex-husband to jail.  My mother pretended that he had been my older brother's father, while my brother could never quite hold the mask as firmly in place.

I have a half-sister who was married three times and divorced once.  Her first marriage ended when she discovered that it had never really began.  Her first husband had never divorced his first wife.   We took her back home from two states away, pregnant and lonely.    Yet, if she had never suffered through that awful time, she'd have never held my nephew.  I have no way of knowing the future but I think she's happy now. 

There seems to be a repeating pattern.  My older brother married three times.  His own children are the ones that took the worst.  The kids he's brought home to my parents who did what grandparents should.   They divorce, and then they're gone.  In his last relationship he has decided not to bother with the marriage portion.  They're his kids to fight for and It's easier that way.

I hope that I've watched enough failed marriages to make my own last.   To keep myself from drifting into the wind and letting myself find what new adventures await, I struggle sometimes.   So far, I've made it six years.

If divorce is a subject you're interested in, you can learn more about my experience as an good Austin family law attorney. You can also request our Austin Divorce Guide CD at TruslerLegal.com. If you need other answers, you can see our Austin TX divorce FAQ's.

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